I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
