ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
