If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
