its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Can I color on your dick again?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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