spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
