Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
