Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
