You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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