In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im holly from the hills drunk
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
