Me. At least after what I've been through.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
