Do vagina's smell?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
