No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
