That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
