I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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