he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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