i barfeds in our rink
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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