Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
