He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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