sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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