Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is my gift to your gina
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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