just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
