Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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