I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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