just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
