Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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