Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
