I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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