I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dignity is for republicans.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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