Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
