oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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