i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize