worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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