Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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