the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
