Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
