I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
