Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
