Capitaan dildo arrescate!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
