She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
