No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
