dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
