pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
false alarm, still single
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
