For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
