Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
4 words: hood of his car
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
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The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize