you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you win again, gameday.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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