I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
