OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
