She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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