I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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