going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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