she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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