After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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