Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize