she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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