Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
