Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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