I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
