i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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