Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
