My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
