he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
