What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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