question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
